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Hey Blusher - Be YOU.

Thank you for protecting me for so long. Thank you for learning how to read the room. For reading every face, their body language, the slowing of the conversation. For knowing when to give them what they are silently requesting. How they want it. When they want it. 

You spoke up when you were a child. You were loud and chaotic and creative. 

You were full of energy and life. Overwhelming for tired parents - but you just being you. 

Talking too much. 

Talking about yourself too much.

Singing too loud.

Feeling too much. 

You would talk back as a kid when you were being reprimanded. Popped in the mouth a few times. Your brother tried to give you advice to do as he did. Walk away, go to your room, shut the door, bury your face in the pillow - and cuss them out. 

But you. You stood there and said what you wanted to say within arms reach. 

When you said no - you were called selfish. 

When you thought of yourself - you were called selfish. 

Told that you’re the only person you care about and you don’t give a shit about anyone else. 

You would spend your money. Your brother would save money or buy for other people. You would buy what you wanted and spend impulsively. You got more satisfaction out of the immediate reward of getting what you want and made to think that was wrong and selfish. 

You wanted to cut your hair short. 

You were told women have long hair. 

You wanted to be seen and heard. But were picked apart when you were seen and heard. 

You’d hang out with friends, wanting to belong with them- and you did for the most part. 

But kids say what kids want to say and this can be damaging. You were judged because you lived in a trailer when others lived in nice, brick homes. You cut your bangs and were made fun of. You tried a new style and were laughed at. You expressed yourself through your creativity and no one told you how gifted you were - except strangers. 

Strangers had no issue telling you how amazingly gifted you were. 

As a teen, you started to lie. Living a double life. A version of who you really were and a version that pleased your parents. 

You’d come home after being out with friends. You’d read the room and search their faces to see if you had been found out. Did they know you really weren’t at work but instead out with friends or a boyfriend? 

You listened closely to their tone and focused on their body language. 

“You’re good. You got away with it.”

Then you repeated this for years until you finally reconciled with them and moved out. 

You skipped out on schooling because you were afraid.

You entered the corporate working world. Told to take out your nose ring in order to get a job. You adhered. 

You were mouthy and full of attitude. Bosses don’t like this - apparently - and you learned it the hard way. You talked too much. You broke the handbook rules by coloring your hair fuchsia. 

Security stood by you as you packed your desk into a cardboard box. He escorted you out of the building. 

You put a picture of your biracial child on your desk. They discriminated against you. You opened your mouth and asked what changed. They denied a change. A day later, they eliminated your position. 

You started having panic attacks. 

Between Corporate America and Religion, you were unraveling. Forgetting who you were. 

You conformed to their religion - making it your religion. You joined the groups. You started creating a stage for yourself since no one would put you on their stage. You wrote a book. No one cared. You stood in front of the microphone to lead worship - they turned your volume down. 

The same establishment that silenced you, is also the place where a stranger walked up unexpectedly and told you, “The gift is in your mouth.”  Reminding you that you had everything you needed within and you needed to open your mouth and speak. 

You unraveled from those chains. People were angry and confused. They didn’t understand. 

You were alone - again. 

Because you had multiple friend groups over the years. You outgrew them. Always thinking something was wrong with you for not being able to hold on to friendships. 

You stood up for someone who was wrongfully terminated at work. A few days later, you got fired. 

You were tired and burnt out from a job that was taking everything from you - mentally and emotionally and physically but also the most rewarding work of your life. You were helping to save lives. You had a narcissistic boss who tried to rule you with power. 

You quit. Effective immediately. 

As you were leaving that place, someone you trusted and respected said - “Eagles were never meant to be caged.” 

You flew. 

You found out about your birth father. How he left when your mom was 3 months pregnant with you. He was a bad guy. Evil. You got your mom to admit the truth about your biological father after 32 years of her hiding. 

You found gratitude for how your life turned out. Never feeling abandoned because you had a father there. Steady and stable. In comparison to what could have been. 

You rose in your career to the highest of highs. 

You served and built. 

Narcissistic leadership slowly chipping away at your freedom. 

You were always vocal but also scared. 

Your character was destroyed. A story was written about you that wasn’t true and you couldn’t tell your side. You just had to move on. 

Then you found refuge. A place for healing. A place for settling into the present. A worthwhile season. 

For years you were rising from the ashes. Learning and growing and evolving. 

Expanding your consciousness. 

And here you are now. 

You belong here. 

You’re safe here. 

You will keep showing up. 

Keep speaking.

Keep being seen. 

Rewriting the narrative for yourself. 

If the past can play a re-run of stories within you - so can the future. 

You are reshaping the future - not by who they said you were, but by who you know you are. 

Step into it, fully.

Step into it, unapologetically. 

You are alive.

What a gift it is to be you. 

Be you.

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