For people who don't blush, they don't realized how awful blushing affects us and our self esteem.
Yes, people blush when they are highly emotional - embarrassed, upset or passionate. But for a chronic blusher and person who struggles with erythrophobia, we blush because we have an overactive sympathetic nervous system. The smallest stimuli could trigger a blushing reaction.
Going from cool to warm quickly. Blushing. Becoming excited or passionate. Blushing. Eating spicy food or having a cocktail. Blushing. For no reason at all. Blushing.
It happens and it bothers us.
We act like we are fine and try to move through it and then someone calls it out.
"Oh my goodness! You're all red!"
This takes us to our greatest fear as children. Our greatest fear as humans. To be judged.
To be singled out for being different.
To be misunderstood.
To be disassociated from the tribe.
That's what you do to us every time you point at our redness and freak out or bring attention to it.
Many blushers carry shame because of their blushing. We literally cannot control it and yet we feel the heavy weight of shame because we can't stop it.
And we feel like no one understands or wants to understand.
So we hide.
What doesn't seem like a big deal to you is a big deal to us. So much so that blushers have committed suicide because of this debilitating condition.
So, stop publicly asking us if we're okay or pointing out how red we are. We already know. And if you have true genuine concern, ask us in private. Try to understand. The worst thing you can do is publicly humiliate us because of our redness.
If you are a fellow blusher, you are not alone. I tend to blush on my chest and neck very often and I get the same reaction as face blushers. So much so that it's created erythrophobia (the fear of turning red or the fear of blushing). This is a never ending self fulfilling prophecy.
You don't want to turn red. So you fear turning red. All you can think of is NOT turning red and so ... you turn red. Being a chronic blusher and living with erythrophobia is no easy task.
This condition affects more people than you know.
Even if you don't understand or don't think it's a big deal -- it's a big deal to many of us.
So, please.
PLEASE.
Stop pointing out that I'm blushing.
You are part of the problem.
-AP